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Grumpy Old Man? Not Me!

Mike Harling

Every so often these days, I turn to my wife and tell her I don’t want to become a Grumpy Old Man, to which she replies, rather unfairly, I think, “Become one?”
Allow me to rationalize…I mean, explain: I am neither old nor grumpy. It’s just that there are so may things in the world these days that need to be complained about.
Take my toilet seat (obviously, I mean in the figurative sense). It’s a good one—solid, well-constructed and firmly affixed to the toilet. But someday, it’s going to break and then I’ll have to get a new one and, when I do, all I am going to find is heartache, because new toilet seats—in addition to being made with inferior materials and shoddy workmanship—have universal bolts so any toilet seat can fit onto any toilet. This might sound like an improvement, but all it does is guarantee that any toilet seat won’t fit your toilet, and you will be forever doomed to sit on a wobbly seat.
It’s a small thing, I know, but they add up.
Like today, at the Post Off…

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